'Action Photos'

Sam Peters on the ball whilst Ben Spillane tries in vain to distract him with his tried and tested 'flamingo impression'.

Stanier appears to be going for Oly's neck. Who can blame him?

Measuring in at nearly two stumps tall, Simon Spillane threatens the opposition batsmen in podex with his mere imposing presence.

Call it what you will, but we get running round the bloody stump every damn House Party. It's a miracle I've never seen anyone upchuck.

Bona fide heroes come 10 a penny here.

"Why has everything today involved things going in or coming out of my ass?"

Give us a football and a cricket bat, and we'll find a new and unique way to waste time.

Yes, we do play croquet...

Even I'm not unaverse to its charms. I never lose mind you.

Notice how none of them are actually connecting with the ball. Paolo's shrugging his shoulders. You know it's bad when *Paolo* shrugs his shoulders....

I swear my header's going to flick the ball over the keeper's fist, loop over the defender on the line and into the far corner. Honest.

Sure as eggs is eggs, that player on the net is nowhere *near* the ball.